David P.'s Blog
Sunday, 19 August 2012
I had nothing worthwhile to enter in this blog on Friday or Saturday. Today, I'm starting with an extract from an email from my mate, Ian in Edinburgh. Yes, that Ian. You've read stuff from him and seen his photo in earlier pages in this blog. I had wondered whether it was suitable for the more delicate of my followers, and I've decided to include it - my reasoning is that most of you are not that delicate!
"For those of you who did not know, I had to go into The Western General yesterday for tests using a Flexible Cystoscopy under a local anaesthetic. My pal David in New Zealand asked how I got on.
On 15 Jun 2012, at 01:47, David Paterson wrote: 'How was your visit to the W. General. Not too bad, I hope'.
Visit passed off ok. If there was a trace of blood in my urine before there is a stream ..nay a river in it now. I had visions of a young 22 year old nurse handling my '''extention'' as the camera was inserted and was worried that it might suddenly become alive after a lapse of ten years or so . However my visions were dashed as when I lay on the table with my operating gown on fully opened up at the back and me naked (not quite I kept my socks on) when in came this apparition looking like the wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz. She said as she prepared a local anesthetic you may feel a slight prick as I insert the camera. It may have been a slight prick to her but it used to be my pride and joy and needed handling gently. We didnt want any accidents did we. However I was very brave and thought of Scotland and the mess the economy was in. Aye right. The other nurse started to talk to me mainly to take my attention away from what Witchy Woo was doing at the other end and asked what I worked at and what did I do in my spare time. I told her I played golf and would her pal with the cold hands hurry up as I was teeing off in the championship in two hours time. I lied a wee bit as I got beat on tuesday night at the 17th but was desperate to get off that table. Then the wizard of oz starlet said ''you may feel a funny sensation as I withdraw the camera'' . Well. Jings Crivens and Help ma Boab, she started to pull out the camera which I am sure was last used in the making of Ben Hur only it was Ben Me. The room went all hazy like it had gone underwater until I realized it was just the tears in my eyes. " Thats you all done, Mr Kay" she said. "Nurse will take you through to the toilet where you can pee in a bucket so that we can check the flow. Off I went best front forward backside exposed to anybody that cared to look as I went into the toilet. Took my stance over the bucket with the flow meter attached and let go. JEEEESUS. A hundred thousand red hot nails came pouring out of what used to be a quiet waterway. I managed about a pint of pee with a good mix of my rare group B blood cells that I needed to keep my hands warm. After leaving most of my body liquids in the toilet I was told I could go and get dressed. Then I was emptied out without even getting a cup of tea and a biscuit that I used to get when I was a blood donor. I am not going back to that place again, not ever. How was your day Dave. Uneventful like mine?"
Today, Sunday, I went along to the nearby Firmin Field where the Big 3 competition is in its final day. I gave you information on this event in my entry of Wednesday 15 August. About 10 a.m. I took shots of the early entries - 3 eels and a boar, and I'll go back there about noon to see what progress has been made. The boar was being weighed as I took the photos; it weighed 52 kgs.
